Abandoned Ambitions of Trying Gross Foods

Initially, my oh-so-grand idea was to start a blog about trying disgusting foods. It may include foods that are perceived as socially unacceptable in western society, or is just straight up gag worthy. I had planned to write about my experiences and add some accompanying grotesque pictures. After researching some disgusting foods, I was beginning to have second thoughts. Why would I want to subject myself to such torture? I’m not a masochist. So unless I grow some balls and muster up a bit of courage to be more adventurous, I’ll be sticking to foodtographie. Here are three mildly disgusting foods I’d maybe consider eating:

1) Ox’s Penis



What is it?
I think the name is pretty self explanatory. It’s a dish served in China. Why am I not surprised? Being Chinese myself, I know some people in China eat every damn thing and part. They know no bounds.

Pros:
Low in cholesterol, improves sex drives, and cures impotence. Okay, I made the impotence part up, but I would assume that’s the sole reason behind eating such a thing.

Con:
It’s a friggin ox’s penis. The word penis should not be in anyone’s food vocabulary. End of story.

Approach:
Have a showdown with hungryleafsfan! Hopefully hungryleafsfan’s gag reflexes won’t kick in because that’ll be a mouthful (haha I’m kidding). My gameplan will be to close my eyes and down those suckers like those money hungry contestants on Fear Factor.

On second thought, maybe I’ll try it in a soup instead.

Interesting Fact:
To all you phallic eating lovers out there, there is a restaurant in Beijing called Guolizhuang Restaurant, which claims to be China's only specialty penis emporium. They serve all varieties of penises including ones of dogs, horses, donkeys, snakes, etc. Wow, that is definitely something to boast about!

Here is a picture of a dish I found from this infamous Guolizhuang Restaurant.
Look at that monstrous thing, it looks like it could be a used as a cane.



2) Escamole



What is it?
This popular dish in Mexico is the larvae of ants harvested from the roots of agave or maguey plants. It is considered as a delicacy and is sometimes referred to as “insect caviar”. Is calling it “insect caviar” suppose to make me want try it?

Pros:
It has the consistency of cottage cheese and tastes buttery, yet nutty.
Perfect for anyone who loves nuts.

Cons:
The fact that it comes from ferocious Liometopum ants. I HATE ANTS.

My hatred for ants started at a tender age of 5 when I use to live in Texas. I once unknowingly stepped into a fire ant pile and stood there for a good 2 minutes. As a child, I wasn’t always the brightest crayon in the box. I reacted by panicking and crying for my mommy. Those things had their fun with me by going into my socks, pants, underwear and bit me all over.

Also, I once left an opened chocolate bar in my backpack at home. The next day, in the middle of class, trails of ants started coming out of my bag. I will forever be labeled as the “dirty ant girl”. I will repeat this again, I HATE ANTS.

Let me remind you what these fearsome things looks like:


Approach:
Douse those babies with hot sauce in my escamole tacos and chow down. Vengeance is sweet. Take that ants, I’m eating your precious babies! That’s what you get for all those years of torture when I lived in Texas.


3) Silkworm Chrysalis


What is it?
Sure the name sounds like it might possibly be a flower related to Chrysanthemums, but it’s actually a popular food in Korea. A chrysalis is the pupal stage of silkworms. In other words, you’re eating a cocoon.

Pros:
It is crunchy, has a nutty flavor and is rich in protein. What more can you ask for? I already agreed to try ant babies and ox penises. This is considered as child’s play for me. Bring it!

Silkworms turn into moths. I hate moths. Hopefully, if eating chrysalises become popular worldwide, it’ll help stagnate the moth population. Very very unlikely, but a girl can only dream.

Cons:
I love Korean food. It can do no wrong in my eyes, but this may be an exception. It has been said that when eating the canned Chrysalis snack, a saline-like liquid may ooze out into your mouth when you chew. That is just plain gross.

Approach:
I’ll opt for the seasoned steamed or boiled silkworm chrysalis. It looks more appetizing, crunchier and hopefully fewer liquids will ooze out. I don’t like surprises like that, i.e. Gushers candy.



To end my entry of my failed GrossThingsPeopleEat blog ambition, I present to you another photo of an unappetizing food…bull testicles. Tasty!


Is it me or do you guys also think these bull testicles have nice squiggly designs/patterns on them?

Also, they also bring back some good ol' childhood memories since they resemble overfilled water balloons.


Sidenote: I don’t actually hate everything and I’m a very nice person. Also, I hope by reading my entry, it helped get your appetites going.